Clear Your Mind / Share Your View

7:07PM...Monday eve...

4 hours before work...last eve...then off for 4 days...in a row...I need the break...my back's been aching the last days...and yesterday eve it finally kicked in for real...man, the pain...I need a killer massage...like, already...

Anyways...I'm planning to go out tomorrow...to Stockholm, to see Conny Nimmersjö play live...he's one of the guitarplayers from the swedish rockband bob hund and he's about to release his solo album, actually did earlier today, so...that's my future plans for now...

The last days has been some of the best days I have experienced in a long time...I haven't felt this good in a long time...the spirits are high and I feel alive again...things feels fun for a change...and, really nothing special has happened in my life recently at all...it's just a sudden mood change, from all time low to a sudden high...

I try not to get hung up on things that I couldn't bother about...and, I think that, that might have some to do with the mood change...in what way though, that I dunno...

I think analyzing too much might hurt myself as well...although, sometimes I have to, so I can understand myself better...but, having someone else to change opinions with , that would be a good thing too...just so that they can keep track on what things makes you feel in what way and so on...and, you do the same back to your companion...keep track on each other...clearing minds by sharing views...

From one thing to another...

Listening to Anthrax now...John Bush doing old Anthrax tunes...cool, but his voice doesn't reach the high notes...hehe...

Some other shit I've been going through lately, since last...Butterfly Explosion, Elliott Smith, Turbonegro, Arch Enemy, Gogol Bordello, Vallejo...and so on...more or less...

Butterfly Explosion is an awesome discovery...no really...only 2 EP's so far and every track is solid...(8 songs all togehter)...shoegaze rock...very similar to My Bloody Valentine from time to time...

Oh well...I guess that's enough for now...

Laters...

Dead Rockstars sings Happy Songs...Not...

8:46PM Sunday evening...

One more night to go of my 6 night stint at work...and my back and especially my shoulders are in pain...I wouldn't say no to an hardcore backrub at this point...
The monotony kills me...same thing over and over again...no nothing new at all...boredom takes over...you do all the things you have to accomplish at work, in your sleep...like an walking zombie...you are there, but then again, you're somewhere else at the same time...

Heatmiser playing on the comp now...I've had my first real overdose of Elliott Smith related stuff in the last days...and, it doesn't look to fade away any time soon...yet...that is...cuz, suddenly I can find something totally different that I'm into for a few days before the next music discover...and so on...but, for now it's Elliott who holds the number one spot...for the time being that is...cuz, just a few weeks ago, I was hardcore into The Cure...like, OVERDOSE-mood...

...and I still have CD's to go through that I bought earlier this week...sometimes they just lay there...for weeks...even months, before I finally go through them...and, I tend to buy CD's even though I have a bunch to go through that are just laying there...collecting dust...but, I've been good the last days and went through a bunch and now I got some kind of control over the situation again...

Well, since the work has been taking over my life for the past few days, my mood has not been improving a lot...the wait between waking up and going to work is boring and that tears up my mind in bits and pieces as well...I just need something that can get my spirits back up again...cuz, they are kinda "all time low" right now...nothing seems to be fun or anything at all...I feel dead inside...like someone pulled out something inside of me...just that emptiness that I can't fill with anything at this point...whatever it might be that I try to fill it with...
It's just...empty...lonely...hollow...nothing...nothing at all...

Listening to dead rockstars might not be improving the situation at all...since most of the lyrics they sang, when alive, were about misery and loneliness and emptiness...not that uplifting messages really...but, I just don't feel like listening to "happy cheer up" music right now...well, not anything like "come on boys and girls, and lets party"-music...that would put me further down the downward spiral I'm on right now...

Man, I try to hang on...but it's hard...I've been doing this for so long now...like, fuck, give me a break already...shit...isn't enough enough, no...? I guess not...

I guess I'm gonna cut it right here before I dig myself further down somewhere I don't wanna be at the moment...

Laters...

Random Music Rant

I just recieved an e-mail from my X-wife with a bunch of new songs of her fave band Vallejo (from Texas)...I have to say that their music is really appealing, since it's feel good party music and you just can't be down when listening to them...impossible...

Otherwise I've been listening to Nick Drakes 3 albums tonight, back-to-back (and I listened to the newly released album "Family Tree" yesterday night)...very mellow songs...and some songs feels unfinnished, like ideas he never fully developed into real songs...but still released among his original album outputs...very punk, if you ask me...

I've been going through an album with The Fall as well, UK-based post-punkish noize band (early 80:ies)...later 80:ies a lil more poppier...intresting stuff...Mark E. Smith (Singer and the only original member) has a very a-tonal (slightly nasal) voice when he sings the songs...intresting, I remember seeing them on MTV (when it was good) in the mid-late 80:ies and their weird videos that went along with these songs...

I've been downloading Elliott Smiths catalouge, as well as his Heatmiser stuff (hard to find)...and I'm gonna spend the next few days going through his heartbreaking songs...
Actually listening to Heatmiser right now, Mic City Sons-album...and it sounds great....not really punk, but very edgy so far...a lil dirtier form of acoustic rock...love it...awesome...

I can't wait to find new favourite songs to like and love...(goes for everything)...and to just share them with my friends while we're just hanging aorund and listen to these songs as you analyze them into bits of why they're so good or bad or whatever...I like to hear new/old songs that I haven't heard before (or forgot about) and to just wonder why this very song makes my world turn upside down and back again...in just a few minutes...

I dunno, I should be going to sleep already...it's 6AM Tuesday morning...got to work this evening again...and I want to have a lil daytime for me to enjoy...
...and not like yesterday morning, going to bed 9AM and waking up at 6PM (when waking up first at around 3PM and thinking "I'm just gonna chill a minute" and 3 hours passes in no time, geez)...and the day is gone...and that was 12 hours ago I got up...so...I had my share of "daytime" tonight...backwards...

Anyways...I think I'm done for now...hope you enjoyed the rant...